“You can’t have ADHD” (Farah Jamil’s story)

Farah Jamil had to stand up for herself when two health care providers told her she couldn’t have ADHD. The reasons cited? One thought she was too smart, charming, and cared for to have ADHD. The other seemed to question whether ADHD was even real. Fortunately, Farah has strong self-advocacy skills that allowed her to debunk these myths in real time. 

Farah is an executive coach, ADHD life coach, and the founder of the community groups Muslim ADHDers and Interfaith ADHDers. Listen as host Laura Key and Farah bust common ADHD myths. They also talk about how ADHD can make keeping friends hard.

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at ADHDAha@understood.org.

Related resources

• From Sorry, I Missed This: The impact of ADHD on workplace relationships

• 8 common myths about ADHD

• Muslim ADHDers

• Interfaith ADHDers

Timestamps

(01:14) Farah’s first attempt to get an ADHD diagnosis

(05:11) Unpacking the 4 myths her doctor told her about ADHD

(09:22) Farah’s second attempt to get an ADHD diagnosis

(10:55) What was Farah struggling with?

(13:41) Why is Farah surprised she “still has friends”?

(18:53) The ADHD communities Farah has founded

(27:24) Farah’s advice

(29:53) Where you can find Farah

Episode transcript

Farah: And I tell him, you know, "I think I have ADHD." And he looks at me and he laughs. He's like, "No you don't." And I said, "What do you mean?" And he said four things that I'll never forget, "You're an Ivy League graduate. You have a full-time job. You have loving family and friends. And you are very charming." So, I asked him, "Do you happen to have the DSM-5 manual?" He said "Yes." He said, "Well, why don't you take it down? Let's go through it together."

Laura: This is "ADHD Aha!," a podcast where people share the moment when it finally clicked that they have ADHD. My name is Laura Key. I head up our editorial team here at Understood.org, and as someone who's had my own ADHD "aha" moment, I'll be your host.

I am here today with Farah Jamil. Farah is an executive coach and ADHD life coach, global speaker, the founder of Muslim ADHDers and so much more. Farah, thank you so much for being here today. How are you?

Farah: I'm well, thank you. And I'm so excited to be here with you, Laura.

Laura: I've been looking forward to this conversation, Farah.

Farah: Me too.

(01:14) Farah's first attempt to get an ADHD diagnosis

Laura: So, where should we begin? Let's start with the diagnosis. When were you diagnosed with ADHD?

Farah: It was just a few years ago, so I was diagnosed as an adult. It was such a surprise. But it also made sense after getting that diagnosis.

Laura: Tell me.

Farah: Well, initially, I had been seeing a psychologist for time management issues because the things that used to work before were no longer working. I used to be able to do things at the last minute and do them really well, especially in school. You know, I could wait until the last minute to study or to do those assignments because I needed that in order to focus. If I had too much time, I would just not have that interest.

I didn't know why, but it just worked for me. It wasn't working anymore. It just was getting a little harder to do that, and I didn't want to do it that way either. But I didn't want to have that stress in order to get things done. So, I went to a psychologist, and we started working on things to help with time management, but it just didn't seem to be helping, and I couldn't figure out what was going on.

And I was one day watching TV and there was, a program on where Lisa Ling, a journalist, a U.S. journalist, was interviewing a physician-scientist who was talking about ADHD, and he was describing the symptoms of ADHD. And Lisa says, "Hey, that sounds like me." And I'm yelling at the TV "That sounds like me too." And so he assesses her, you know, very high-level assessment, and as Lisa's answering the questions, I'm also answering the questions. And I was like, "Oh, I need to talk to my psychologist about this."

So, luckily I had an appointment with him and I tell him, "You know, I think I have ADHD." And he looks at me and he laughs, he says "No, you don't." And I said, "What do you mean?" And he said four things that I'll never forget "You're an Ivy League graduate. You have a full-time job. You have loving family and friends, and you are very charming." So I said, "What do any of those things have to do with whether I have ADHD or not?" Because to him...

Laura: I'm confused. I'm confused. But we'll go back to all of these. Keep going. Yes.

Farah: Sure. So, I asked him, "Do you happen to have the DSM-5 manual, you know, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders?" He said "Yes." He said, "Well, why don't you take it down? Let's go through it together," under ADHD.

Laura: You're like, "Hold on, I'm taking charge." OK.

Farah: Because, you know, I was getting a little exasperated by this point. I'm like, for the love of... come on, I, let's just, don't just dismiss it. Let's talk about this. So, we went through it and he said, "Oh my goodness, you have ADHD." I'm like, "Yeah, I know." And after I got further testing, it's determined that I have ADHD combined.

Laura: Combined type. OK.

Farah: Great combined type, so.

Laura: Combined type. So, both inattentive and hyperactive.

Farah: And impulsive. That's right.

Laura: And impulsive. Yeah.

Farah: Got the trifecta.

Laura: Did they give you any pause that you were kind of doing the schooling in this case?

Farah: You know, as I've reflected on this and other parts of my life, I've come to realize that this is not the first time I've had to take charge when someone would say to me, "Oh, no, that's not right," or "No, you can't do that," or "Oh, no one's ever done it that way before." And maybe that's the innovative part of my ADHD.

So, on one hand, it was a bit surprising because here I am speaking with a professional. But on the other hand, it wasn't surprising because I was starting to reflect on other times in my life where I have done things in a different way, in a probably non-neurotypical way. And credit to the psychologist where he said, "You know, I'm really sorry, but I'm not trained in ADHD, I can't help you." So, I really appreciated him saying that. But and I hope it was a lesson for him to not be so dismissive the next time a client or a patient says that, right?

(05:11) Unpacking the 4 myths her doctor told her about ADHD

Laura: I was just going to say. Let's go through the four things and let's debunk for our listeners and for ourselves, and let's talk a little bit about them. Ivy League, it's implying that people with ADHD aren't smart.

Farah: Exactly. That's exactly what he thought. He's like, "No, you're an Ivy League graduate. You can't have ADHD." It's like one has nothing to do with the other.

Laura: Exactly. ADHD has nothing to do with intelligence.

Farah: Yes.

Laura: Ok.

Farah: That's correct.

Farah: So, the second one was having a full-time job.

Laura: I have a full-time job.

Farah: Yes.

Laura: I have two full-time jobs, actually, if you think about it. But we'll save that for another day.

Farah: Now, of course, there may be those who have ADHD who struggle with employment, but they're also neurotypicals who struggle with employment. So, it doesn't mean that because I have a full-time job that automatically dismisses the possibility that I have ADHD.

Laura: Right, exactly. There's so many factors to consider. And yes, it's true, it is like working life and working life balance, it's really hard when you have ADHD, especially for women, which we know, but it doesn't mean people with ADHD can't have a full-time job. All right. So, next thing: loving family and friends.

Farah: Right. But then the myth here is that, oh no, it's only bad parents who have ADHD children or bad parenting that's part of the reason why someone may have ADHD. I have amazing parents and had a great childhood. So, again, that's the myth that "Oh, only bad parents could possibly have a neurodivergent child." And that's simply not the case.

Laura: Right. And it also implies a this is fully nurture, not nature. And yeah, it's so much more complex.

Farah: Exactly.

Laura: The most head-scratching piece of this to me is the charming one. Can we talk about it? You are very charming. Let's just be very clear. Farah is a very charming person.

Farah: You are very kind.

Laura: So, what is what's the myth here that people with ADHD are annoying or...?

Farah: Well, could be. I think the myth here is that "Oh, someone who is neurodivergent or has ADHD, maybe they're socially awkward, maybe they're rude. Maybe they are not able to socialize very well compared to perhaps someone who's neurotypical." So, you can't possibly have ADHD if you're able to, you know, sit down and interact and have a good time. Have fun.

Laura: Yeah. All right. Thanks for doing that.

Farah: No one has ever actually asked me to unpack that before, so that was cool.

Laura: I want to unpack it actually, one more step further. How do you feel when that list of four things was said to you? Because it's kind of like a backhanded compliment.

Farah: Yes, it is a backhanded compliment. And I think at that time, because I had just discovered that I may have ADHD based on this TV program, so I didn't know a lot, and, but I knew enough to be taken aback by it because it did not compute. So, I didn't know as much as I know now to really be able to confidently unpack it the way we just did, but I knew that they didn't have any direct linkage as to whether I could possibly have ADHD or not.

So, it was the first time, but not the only time where I have been challenged any time I have talked about me having ADHD. It would happen again and again and again. So, I think that initial conversation probably helped prepare me. I tried not to be annoyed, you know, because I was like, "OK, hold on. You know, I'm still learning about ADHD. They probably don't know much about it. So, who am I to get annoyed?" But it kept happening and it still happens.

Laura: Well, you also kept your wits about you. I think in that situation I probably would have shut down and just would have completely deferred. We can, I'll unpack that one with my therapist at a later date. But yeah, it's, good for you. I think that a lot of women and people with ADHD just aren't believed. And you really stuck to it.

(09:22) Farah's second attempt to get an ADHD diagnosis

Farah: Well, I was a little surprised that I did that, but there have been times in my life where I stuck up for myself. The next time, though, when I met with a psychiatrist, I was not as successful. So, I told him my story. I told him about everything and this is what he said to me. "There are two big things here. One, he said, "Well, I really don't believe in ADHD unless you're thoroughly tested." So, by this point, I had been thoroughly tested. But again, just dismissive.

The second thing he said to me, this is where I did shut down a bit. He said to me, "I think you have too high expectations in life," and I've had to unpack this over the last couple of years because it still boggles my mind that someone said this, especially someone who's in a position of authority, who is supposed to have had training in this.

But what I've come to realize is that there are going to be some people who, again, part of that dismissiveness who may look at you and be like, "Well, what are you complaining about? You've got all these other things going for you. So, maybe you just have too high expectations."

You know, because of those four things that I listed before, he probably thought, "Oh, well, I'm sorry, what's the problem? I don't know what you're complaining about." And it's not about complaining. It's about trying to find the right support for me so I can be my best self because I was not feeling my best self. Things were not computing. I wasn't sure what was going on. Why is it that I'm struggling?

(10:55) What was Farah struggling with?

Laura: Tell me more about that. Because you mentioned at the top that, you know, time management was a struggle and it had always been a struggle, but you had worked around it and it just wasn't working anymore. Can you go like one-click deeper into that? What felt hard?

Farah: The way that I best describe it is that I felt like there was a disconnect between my brain and my body, and what I mean by that is my brain knew exactly what it needed to do to be successful, but my body wouldn't cooperate. So, I would get up in the morning and I would have all these plans, "OK, I'm going to do my laundry. I'm going to work out. I'm going to see if I can meet up with some friends because I haven't seen them in so long," or I kept canceling on them all the time because I was too tired.

So, "Hey, I'm going to like, you know, meet up with them and be spontaneous, and I'm going to do some grocery shopping," like I would have in the morning all these great plans, that I thought was quite doable, to be honest with you. And then let's just say it's 9:00. It's 9:00. "OK. So, I'm going to get out of bed and I'm going to get ready in the morning, and I'm going to eat my breakfast, and let me just watch some TV because I need to get my brain going."

I'm like, "You know, I want to do all these things, but I'm not quite ready yet mentally. So let me just sit down here for a bit. And while I'm eating my breakfast, I'm just gonna watch some TV, because that's how I relax because my brain is always on, so I need to relax and I watch TV and then I watch a show. "I'm not ready yet. Let me watch another show.

Oh, look at that. It's almost 12:00. Well, it's lunchtime now, so I might as well eat lunch. There's no point in me, like, doing anything until I eat lunch. So, I'm going to eat lunch. Oh, darn. I should have worked out before having my lunch. But it's too late now. But you know, it's OK I can do my workout later. And I should do my laundry right now. But you know, I'm not quite ready yet. Let me just watch another show. Another show, another show. Now it's 3:00.

Oh, well, I guess my food has digested enough for me to do a workout. I don't know, it's only 3:00. I still have plenty of time. Maybe I'll just wait a little bit longer. It's OK, you know, and this will go on for the entire day until suddenly it's 10:00, 11:00 at night and I'm in the same place, and I've done none of the things, and this kept happening.

Laura: Wow, that was a really good description. Yeah.

Farah: Well, thanks. But that's been my life. Like, I have all these ambitions and goals and dreams and, you know, I would do like the list of what all these things that I want to do. And one time I stumbled upon a list that I had written ten years ago, and it was the exact same things I still want to do and had got done.

Laura: I have been there. That's what I'm going to, I'm going to leave it at that, many times.

(13:41) Why is Farah surprised she "still has friends"?

Can we talk about social skills? We've established that you're very charming, so let's just be very clear about that. When we met a few weeks ago, something you said to me was, "I'm surprised I still have friends." Are you open to talking about that?

Farah: Oh, absolutely. So, I'm so blessed to have, you know, met people from all over the world just by the nature of some of my work that I've done before. I love people, I love meeting new people. I love getting to know people from all different backgrounds. I've traveled to probably about ten, 11 countries. I'm the type of person where if we're in an elevator, I'll say hello. Silence is not something that I'm always that comfortable with. So I will say hi.

Laura: That's nice, yeah.

Farah: But I also see it as an opportunity to make a connection, especially when you're a visible religious minority like me. I know there's a lot of misconceptions out there, so I also want to be able to break down some of those barriers and be like, "You know, I'm a normal person. Feel free to say hello." And at the same time, with my friends, I'm surprised I still have them because I have canceled on them so many times. We will make plans and I'm all excited for the plans.

Yay! We're going to meet like in a few days, go out to that new restaurant, or go out for coffee, or just like a window shopping. And then the time comes and I'm either exhausted or I grossly underestimated the time it will take me to get ready. And now I'm frustrated because I'm going to be running late and I don't want to show up late, so then I just cancel. It's the only way that I think I'm respecting their time is by canceling on them.

And of course, now I've realized, well, actually probably not. And then I would have people say to me in a very kind way, "You know. Do you not want to hang out because you don't seem to, like you cancel so many times." And then when I do make it, everyone's just, like, in shock. They're like, "Oh, you're here, you made it!" right? I didn't know it was an issue until someone started saying things like that.

Laura: Yeah.

Farah: Like, Oh, dear. What's going on here?

Laura: And I think you're right to associate it with your ADHD because they're like two halves to that. There's what goes before the canceling. You're saying yes to things, right?

Farah: Um hum.

Laura: There's like a planning element to that. Saying yes to things that maybe aren't realistic for you. And I'm sure there are plenty of other ADHD-related, I'll ask you to fill in the blanks there.

Farah: Sure.

Laura: And then the other side of that, which is the transitions that you're talking, you shared that story about like, Ooh, it's noon now. Oh it's three now. Oh it's five now." It's so hard to get started.

Farah: Yes.

Laura: And to move once you've gotten settled into one space.

Farah: Exactly.

Laura: So, you're like, am I going to go back outside? No. Why would I do that? I'm wearing my sweatpants, you know?

Farah: Exactly. And before my ADHD diagnosis, I did find a workaround. So, if it was, you know, where I was meeting up for friends after work, what I started doing was instead of going home, I would go straight from work to meet with them. So, I didn't give myself a chance to get in my home and get comfy and not want to get up again and try to get ready and go out the door again.

Laura: That's how you got to do it. That's the only way to do it.

Farah: Yes.

Laura: Yeah, I'm not like 18 anymore. I'm not like, I don't know what kind of energy do you think I have. You know I got to, just got to go straight there.

Farah: Got to go straight there. And that's when it was more successful. But what I didn't know, is because I didn't know I had ADHD at the time, that was a workaround I found. I found the structure and support that I needed in order to do the things I wanted to do.

Laura: Do you feel like you've gotten better at not saying yes to things that you think you may end up canceling later?

Farah: So, I call myself a recovering people-pleaser for that very reason. I still have to catch myself because, you know, my brain is novelty-seeking. I love doing new things and I get bored easily. So, when something comes up and it sounds exciting, I'm like, "Oh yes, I want to do that."

But now I'm better at taking a pause and saying, "Hold on, let me check my calendar."

Laura: Right. Yeah.

Farah: "Let me see if I can logistically do this. And oh, by the way, do I want to do this for the right reasons or am I just wanting to like, please someone?" So, as a recovering people pleaser, it has become much easier for me to do a bit of a triage before I say the yes.

Laura: Can I confess something to you?

Farah: Please.

Laura: I just canceled on something for tonight, like ten minutes ago. I was supposed to go to some...

Farah: I'm right there with you.

Laura: Someone else's work-related party. And I had said yes a few weeks ago, and I blamed it on my kids. There you go.

Farah: But see, a few weeks ago, it was a great idea, right? It's like, Oh yes!

Laura: It was the best idea. I was looking forward to it. And today I was like, it's really hot out. I should probably just go home.

(18:53) The ADHD communities Farah has founded

Farah, when we last chatted, you were sharing with me about your many identity layers and how that has come out through the work that you have done. I think that you mentioned three different communities that you have started. Is that, do I have that right? Could you talk about that?

Farah: Sure. Yeah. So, you know, before I became an ADHD life coach, you know, after my ADHD diagnosis, before that, I actually trained as an executive coach because I'm a health executive. So, I trained as a health executive. And so, basically, I was involved in health policy to improve patient care. And at the workplace, I was probably the only woman of color and a visible religious minority who was in like a leadership position in a very large organization, at least at that time.

And I got introduced to coaching at the workplace. So, I was able, there's long story there, so I won't go into it, but basically that's where I first experienced coaching and I'm like, "I love this. This is amazing." So, I trained as an executive coach myself because I didn't see anyone who looked like me at that time who were helping leaders. And I'm like, "Well, let me first start helping myself, let me train, and then let me see if I can help others."

And then shortly after that, I got my diagnosis with ADHD. And then I discovered there's also ADHD coaching. I'm like, "OMG, I know the power of coaching so I don't see anyone who looks like me talking about ADHD. Let me train as an ADHD life coach." And then that's when I developed a community on Instagram called Muslim ADHDers. And I was really scared, to be honest, to even create this because I was like, "Can I do this anonymously so that nobody sees me?"

Because I had this fear of the trolls coming out. You put two words together, Muslim and ADHD, and you're like, "Man, people are just going to come out of the woodwork and just trash."

Laura: Yeah.

Farah: But for whatever reason, again, it was just one of those pivotal times in my life where I took a step back and I thought, "Wait a minute, what I want, why do I want to create this community?" And there were three important reasons. One is because I don't want others to needlessly suffer the way I've suffered. Two, I want to be able to have people see someone who looks like me talking about it. And I think that will help demystify and destigmatize because even within the ADHD community, I didn't see anyone who looked like me talking about it.

And third, as a woman of faith, I wanted to really do something in the faith community to bring down some of those barriers when it comes to mental health. So, I created it, and I actually started coming on camera and talking about it, which was so scary for me because I hate being on camera. I hate it, but I did it and started talking about it. So, I created that community.

And then I realized that my passion is to talk about the intersectionality between ADHD, productivity, especially as a working professional and in life, productivity in the home, health and wellness and faith. And with that faith lens, I realized it wasn't just Muslims who were wanting to talk about their ADHD, but also people from other faith groups: Christians, Jewish, Catholic, all these people who I started meeting. And I would ask them, "How has your faith or spirituality supported your ADHD?" And they're like, "That's a great question."

Laura: I want to know the answers that people have provided on that front. Would you share some?

Farah: Sure. I would love to. So, let me start with myself. So, as a Muslim and you know, everyone has a different way of practicing, like everyone is on different faith and spiritual journeys. So, please know that this is my experience only I do not represent all 2 billion Muslims in the world, OK? So, that's just my journey here.

But you know, part of the framework of my faith is doing five daily prayers. Now, there's ADHD research that shows the power of meditation and prayer to help with our busy brains. I have a hard time with meditating, I'll tell you that right now because I'm just like, my brain is just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, right?

Laura: Yeah. Personally, really, really hard for me.

Farah: Yeah. It takes a lot for me to like, really be able to be quiet. But within my own faith, there are five daily prayers. Each prayer is like ten minutes, OK? It's not even that long, like ten 15 minutes, but it's those pivotal times in the day. Five times during the day, you have one prayer before sunrise. You've got one prayer around lunchtime. The third prayer is around mid-afternoon. The fourth prayer is just after sunset, and the fifth prayer is before you go to bed.

So, you've got them like spread out and it's there to give you time away from your busy life. So, it's like, you know, whether you're a working professional, whether you are busy with family, with friends. But it's me time. It's between you and your Lord where you have that quality time to really just kind of get away from that chaos.

Laura: And about how long is each prayer?

Farah: About ten minutes. If I can watch 12 hours of TV in one day, I can do five prayers that, let's just say take in total less than an hour for the minimum stuff. So, as I was looking more at my faith, I suddenly realized something: that my faith is neurodivergent friendly and people are like, "What are you talking about?"

Laura: Yes, say more. Please, yeah.

Farah: So, let me just get this one aspect of prayer. So, we've got the prayer that's five times a day. But what's really great about it is that each prayer you've got like a block of time to do it. So, let's say on average you've got like a time period of about 2 to 3 hours in order to do each prayer. Let's just say like on average, depending on where you live in the world. And so, here I see that we've got some structure but flexibility built in. So, as an ADHDer, I don't like too much structure, but I need a little bit of structure in order to be my best.

So, this is an example of where my five daily prayers actually helps support my ADHD, because it gives me a little bit of structure, but with built-in flexibility. I don't feel like I'm trapped, or that I feel like I'm being told what to do and I just start rebelling. It's like working out of the gym. Let's say if someone wants to work out in the gym four times a week. So, you got that built-in structure a little bit and maybe you're like kind of grumbling, like, "Oh, do I have to like go to the gym? But then once you get there and you start doing the thing, you feel so good.

It's the same thing with prayer. It's like, "Oh, OK, I know I have to do my prayer and I know I'll feel good afterwards, but it's like getting there is like, ugh," but then once you do, you're like, "Oh my goodness, I'm so glad I did this. I needed this break." So, that's why I say that for me, I say that Islam is neurodivergent friendly, but I think when I'd spoken to others from different faith traditions...

Laura: Yes. That's what I was going to ask you. Yeah.

Farah: They also talked about how prayer has helped them in their ADHD. And even if you're not religious, even if you are spiritual, my friends who have ADHD and who are spiritual have said that yes, they really appreciate that they are able to do a form of meditation to help calm their systems down or be able to have that as part of their framework when it comes to supporting their ADHD.

So, that's why I developed Interfaith ADHDers on Instagram because I wanted to bring this community together to be like, "Let's talk about faith and spirituality and how that supports us."

Laura: That's so cool, Farah. And then executive ADHDers is another one, right?

Farah: That's right. Because that's also part of who I am. Like, you know, I trained as a health executive. I've been in leadership positions throughout my career, but also in the nonprofit world. So, I've sat on several nonprofit boards in Canada and the U.S. as president, vice president, and director. And I could see that there were others who were like me, who are in leadership positions, who have ADHD, but who don't feel safe to talk about that because it could impact our ability to get promotions.

Because people may feel or think, "Oh, well, you know, they have ADHD, maybe they're not ready for the next step in the promotion ladder," and which is simply not true, but we want to make sure that we're supporting ourselves. So, I also created Executive ADHDers because I wanted us as leaders to be able to talk about "What can we do to support ourselves in the workplace so that we can be our best leader selves?"

(27:24) Farah's advice

Laura: Farah, is there any kind of like piece of advice that you feel like, has someone gave to you related to ADHD, or that you've kind of come up with on your own, or heard from the community that you want to kind of impart to the "ADHD Aha!" listeners?

Farah: What I say quite a lot to my clients: "Self-awareness leads to self-empowerment, which leads to self-advocacy." And I see that often, because doesn't matter if you're neurotypical or neurodivergent, the better you get to know yourself, the better you're able to articulate what you need to be your best self. So, don't be afraid to get to know yourself through that self-awareness so that you can empower yourself. That will help you advocate for yourself and probably help advocate for others around you too.

Laura: Oh my gosh, I never thought about that.

Farah: Yeah, when people said to me, "Well, why can't you just be on time? Just do it. Just like get there on time." I'm like, "Oh, gee, thanks. Why didn't I think of that?"

Laura: Yeah, just don't worry. It's fine.

Farah: Just do it. Just do it.

Laura: Yeah.

Farah: So, with all due respect to Nike, that does not help the ADHDer. Then I heard a saying from a Muslim scholar by the name of Sheikh Bin Bayyah, and he said, "Make the sincere intention and then do the work." So, I'm like, "OK, that's getting a little bit closer." It's like, OK, make that intention, know what you want to do, and then put in the work. I'm like, "OK, that's good." But it's still was missing that ADHD element of structure and support.

So, then I created my formula which is as follows. So, first, make that sincere intention or know what your goal is that you want to do. Plus find the right structure and support to help you with that goal so that you can do the work, so that you can do it. To me, that was the main thing that was missing is "What are the structures and supports I need?"

So, when I go out with my friends and if I'm going straight from work, I go straight from work now, because if I go home, there's a good chance I may not get out the door, or if I am having to go straight from home because I'm, you know, at home to begin with. What are the things I need to put in place so that I get to see my friends on time? Well, one thing is make sure I got my clothes out that I know I'm going to wear and not just rely on. "Oh, I'll just figure it out five minutes beforehand."

Laura: Yeah. Never going to happen. Yeah.

Farah: Not going to happen. So, now I'd say, if I want to meet up with my friends, OK, what do I need to have in place? Got to have my clothes.

(29:53) Where you can find Farah

Laura: Farah, your website is FarahJamil.com. Is there any other place that people can find you that you'd like for folks to check out? I know that on Instagram you have Muslim ADHDers and Interfaith ADHDers on Instagram.

Farah: They can also find me on LinkedIn. So, there's a lot of Farah Jamils out there. You'll see where it says executive coach and ADHD coach. Hopefully, that'll narrow it down, but there's a lot of us out there.

Laura: Farah, it's been so lovely to connect with you, as expected.

Farah: Thank you so much, Laura.

Laura: I knew that it would be. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today.

Farah: It was such a pleasure. Thank you for, you know, having this platform. It's so important that we have these spaces. So kudos to you.

Laura: Thanks for listening. As always, if you want to share your own "aha" moment, email us at ADHDaha@understood.org. I'd love to hear from you. Be sure to check out the show notes for this episode. We have more resources and links to anything we mentioned.

This show is brought to you by Understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at Understood.org/give. "ADHD Aha!" is produced and edited by Jessamine Molli. Jessamine, are you there?

Jessamine: Hi everyone. I'm still here.

Laura: And Margie DeSantis.

Margie: Hey, hey.

Laura: Our theme music was written by Justin D. Wright, who also mixes the show. Ilana Millner is our supervising producer. Briana Berry is our production director. Neil Drumming is our editorial director. Creative and production leadership from Scott Cocchiere and Seth Melnick. And I'm your host, Laura Key. Thanks so much for listening.