Back-to-school checklist: Everything but the books

Gearing up for a new school year can feel overwhelming. As the first day of school gets close, kids have so much to think about. And so do parents and caregivers. 

In this episode of In It, hosts Gretchen Vierstra and Rachel Bozek talk with Kate Garcia. Kate is a high school teacher with lots of back-to-school experience and tips. 

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at init@understood.org.

Related resources

• Bedtime battles: Why won’t my child just go to sleep?

• The best way to ease the back-to-school transition

• Check out Understood’s back-to-school support guide

• Download: Backpack checklist

• GoblinTools: Magic ToDo

Timestamps

(1:22) Getting back on a sleep schedule 

(3:36) Picking out clothes

(6:40) Getting organized

(9:55) How to communicate with the school 

(13:24) Helping kids have good food to fuel their day

Episode transcript

Gretchen: Hello and welcome to "In It," a podcast for families with kids who learn and think differently.

Rachel: Here you'll find advice, camaraderie, stories of successes, and let's be real, sometimes failures from experts, parents, and caregivers like you.

Gretchen: I'm Gretchen Vierstra, a former classroom teacher and an editor here at Understood.org.

Rachel: And I'm Rachel Bozek, a writer, editor, and mom who has definitely been" in it." Today we're facing the fact that summer is, well, depending on where you live, pretty much over or very close to being over.

Gretchen: That means we need to get into the back-to-school mindset.

Rachel: Yes we do.

Gretchen: Oh, boy. Well, we know that gearing up for school can feel overwhelming for parents and kids. So, we're going to break it down into five specific categories.

Rachel: And we've got Kate Garcia on hand to help us out. Kate is a high school teacher for kids in grades 9 to 12, and she has loads of experience and lots of great tips to share. Kate, welcome to "In It."

Kate: Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

Gretchen: We are so happy to have you here today, Kate.

First, I think Rachel and I are going to get things rolling with a couple of tips we've picked up over the years, either from personal experience or from advice we've actually gotten at Understood.

(1:22) Getting back on a sleep schedule

And the first one has to do with sleep. Kids' sleep schedule over the summers can get a bit wacky, and as school starts to come, we need to figure out how to get them back on that school sleep schedule.

So, we've gotten advice before that one of the best ways to do that is to kind of calendar it out, right? So, look at your calendar and decide, you know, if your kids have been going to bed much later at night to calendar out, "OK, we're going to roll it back, you know, 30 minutes this week, 30 minutes this week, until you kind of get it as close as you can to your school schedule."

Now, I've calendar this before and said, "Yes, we're going to do this this year. It's going to happen." It falls apart a lot for me. I don't know, I feel like sometimes I find ourselves back at school and I'm just like, "Oh my God, you guys have been going to bed at midnight and now it's time to go to bed at nine."

OK, so Kate, as a school teacher yourself, I know that you probably are off schedule and want to get back and ready for your school schedule. So, do you kind of do the slow, gradual change or do you just find yourself kind of like falling into, you know, "Oh schools here, up! Everyone's got to go to bed early and get up early because it's happened in front of our faces and we've done nothing about it."

Kate: So, I start back at work before my kids start at school, so I get kind of slammed in the face with waking back up early, whereas my kids get to gradually adjust because I'm at work two weeks before they're back at school. So, they get a nice gradual adjustment because they like to wake up with me, and so we'll slowly adjust them. Whereas I struggle for the first few days of being back up and now on my regular schedule.

Gretchen: Yeah, I'll tell you. I'll tell you all honestly, for me, I've always... when I was teaching and just being a parent, I've always said I don't think anything is going to smooth itself out until Thanksgiving. I know this seems so long away, but I like give myself that as a goal. I'm like, "We get to Thanksgiving and this is all going to work out." But that's a long ways away. But honestly, that's usually how long it takes for us.

Rachel: That's fair, that's fair. And then after the holidays you're like, "Oh, we're halfway done."

Gretchen: I know. Ugh.

(3:36) Picking out clothes

Rachel: So, Kate, the next thing we want to talk about is clothing. So, I've noticed as kids get older, they care more about what they're wearing and they have more to say about it. But I really don't want that conversation to happen every morning, especially at the beginning of the year when we're trying to get out the door for school.

So, one thing that has helped has been kind of getting them to pick out their own clothes before the week, like there was one week in particular where I was away for work, and I made sure that this happened before I was out of town. So, maybe the solution is that I'm just not here.

But it really did work to have, and this was for, my daughter, who was in fifth grade at the time, pick out her clothes for the week, and we got one of those over-the-door hanger contraptions that basically had like five compartments, and we just put everything she was going to wear for each day in each of the compartments, like down to the socks and underwear.

Gretchen: That's smart.

Rachel: And it totally worked. And I'm like, "Oh my God, I'm doing this for the rest of my life. I'm getting one for myself." And like, of course, we didn't continue this as consistently as we should have. But that is something that has really helped, and maybe that's something that would help other people. But I don't know, clothes just seem to be a never-ending challenge.

Gretchen: Yeah. And I know for lots of kids there are sensory challenges associated with clothes, right? That some things just don't feel comfortable. They're too scratchy, they're itchy. Even if it's cold out, some people don't like to wear long pants. And so, that can be a struggle too. Kate, I don't know if you've ever noticed any of that with your own students or with your own kids?

Kate: Yeah, absolutely. And I love the over-the-door hangers. Those are great. So, I will say, one of the things I've had to learn with clothing is sometimes what I want them to be wearing, or what I want the outfit to look like I have to let go of, and they have to wear what's comfortable for them.

And, you know, at the high school level, I see kids who come in similar clothing for different seasons. And I think part of it is just letting them express themselves in whatever brand happens to be most comfortable for them. So, with the sensory issues, if you find a brand or a type of t-shirt or long sleeve that works for them, buy it in a couple of colors or buy a couple of versions of it and take that pressure off for yourself to have your kid in a certain outfit on certain days at certain seasons.

Gretchen: It's hard to let go, but I know sometimes that's what we need to do.

Kate: Yeah. I do have one other tip, which is to help your children label their clothes especially, like sweatshirts and things they might take off during the school day. Especially for kids who might not have that at top of mind, when they're going to pack up for the day, you don't want them searching through a big pile of things to try and find which one is theirs and then stressed if they have the right one. So, adding little labels somewhere in the tag can help them with that.

Gretchen: That is a great tip.

Rachel: Yes.

(6:40) Getting organized

Gretchen: And that kind of leads to our next thing on our list then, which is getting organized. I don't know about you, but every beginning of the school year, my kids and I kind of just like, think we're going to crack the code when it comes to organization. You know, it's a struggle sometimes to keep track of worksheets, assignments, deadlines, all those executive function skills. So, Kate, do you have any winning organizational strategies for kids that you can share?

Kate: So, I do have a tool that I found recently, and it's an AI tool that is very helpful with breaking down tasks. So, either for students who are more capable or for parents. It's called "goblin.tools." And what you do is you go to this site and you type in the task that you're trying to accomplish. So, let's say even if it's just "Setting up a visual schedule for my child." And just like any other AI tool, you give them as much information as you can and it has these little peppers next to it, and that's how spicy you want the breakdown.

So, you can have it broken down very strongly or a little bit, and it'll populate all of the steps. So, for kids in middle school up to high school, where you're trying to figure out this routine or trying to break down tasks, it can be extremely helpful. And for the parent of younger kids, this can be helpful to try and figure out, you know, "How do I take this very large feeling task and break it into manageable steps?"

Gretchen: You are the second teacher that's told us on the podcast about that tool.

Kate: Oh really?

Gretchen: Yes.

Kate: I love it.

Gretchen: OK, so if you have younger kids though, and you don't want to necessarily use some kind of tech tool, what are some basic strategies that you can use with young kids to get them organized?

Kate: So, one thing that I like to do is have dedicated spaces for things like when you come home, your backpack goes in a certain space until we've sorted through everything that's in there, we've done the homework, we've packed it up, and then it moves to a new space. And that's where it is when you find it in the morning and you're ready to go. I found that that helps me as well because I know what's been handled and not handled.

We also use a lot of color coding at our house. So, different subjects have different colors as well as different children have different colors and also using positive reinforcement. So, when my kids are able to remember, "Oh, the backpack goes here," it's baby steps at the beginning of the school year.

And we have open communication about it, "Hey, this isn't working for me because I'm trying to make dinner and your stuff is all in the way. What can we do to solve this problem?" Simultaneously teaches your kids to be a problem solver as well as keeps everything organized in a way that works for everybody in the household.

Gretchen: That sounds so real that whole "things are in the way." And I love how you just said that in a calm way, "How can we solve this together?" I don't think I always do that. I feel like I'm like, "What is this hot mess and why is it in my way when I'm trying to make dinner?" But I am going to try to channel that.

Rachel: Yeah, I really, I do a lot of "whys" this year like.

Gretchen: And that's probably not helpful.

Rachel: As if there's an answer.

Kate: Yeah. Yeah, that comes out of my household too. Don't get me wrong.

Gretchen: OK. And I'm sure you say it to some of your students sometimes, alright? I mean.

Kate: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.

(9:55) How to communicate with the school

Rachel: So, here's another category: School communication. This is especially important for families with kids who have IEPs or 504 plans, but it really could apply to any situation where you want your child's teacher or teachers to know something about your kid.

So, Kate, when and how is the best time to check in with teachers? Is there like a sweet spot that's not too early, when teachers are maybe overwhelmed with their own preparations and getting to know everybody, but also not too late, like, "Oh, I really wish you had told me that a month ago?"

Kate: Yeah, I think, you know, there's no right answer. And students have different varying levels of needs, so you may need to check in with somebody earlier than this. I would say the sweet spot for me is after the first week of school. Typically in a high school or even in a middle school, you have schedules that are changing, so it's very realistic that the teacher could change as well for that student.

And so, after that first week, things have kind of settled down, and you're going to have at least a more solid picture from that teacher. They're going to know your child's name. They're going to know how the routines are going. They're going to have some actual input for you. But I have had parents that I've reached out to on the first day and had a meaningful conversation with in order to prep for their child coming in.

So, I would say, if your child really requires some proactive measures by the teacher reaching out before the first day of school, whenever the teacher PD days are, would be critical. If your child, maybe you just want to check in and see how things are going, I would say wait till after that first week when things are kind of a better picture for the teacher.

Rachel: OK. That's great. And do you feel like at some point within those first, you know, week or two weeks of school, everybody should check in? Or really only if you have something that you want to touch base about?

Kate: I think everybody checking in is a great idea, but especially if you have those concerns, because you want to remember that conferences obviously vary by school, but for the most part are not happening until October. So, if you want to start having more detailed conversations with the teacher, you probably want to get that on their schedule and say, "Hey, you know, just checking in after this first week. I'd really like to have a more in-depth conversation with you." Maybe the teacher can tell you when the first test is or the first major data point, and then you can schedule a conversation for after that time.

Gretchen: The teacher obviously knows which students they have in their classroom that have IEPs or 504s, but it can be helpful, right? For a parent to be like, "This is my kid, this is their IEP, and here are some things we've learned over the years that have really worked for my child." I mean, is that information too early or should you wait later for that?

Kate: No, I think, you know, communication is a two-way street, right? So, I love hearing from parents that have these ideas. I think one thing you want to be cautioned about is your child is going into a new year in a new environment, with a new teacher. They may need different things or react in a different way.

So, I would only hesitate, and you don't want to give the teacher a picture of your child with any kind of negative connotations. You want to let them kind of come into the situation and see how they are. But I welcome any and all communication because the more I get to know parents as a teacher, the better the communication will flow throughout the year.

(13:24) Helping kids have good food to fuel their day

Gretchen: OK, this one is so tricky for lots of people. I want to talk about food. What your kid eats to fuel for their day at school, and how to make sure they're not starving at school. This is where I kind of want to know from you, Kate, because especially being in a school, like, I remember when I was teaching, I needed to eat a really big breakfast because I felt like I didn't have enough breaks, and I felt like even the kids didn't have enough breaks sometimes to eat and to, you know, get enough fuel to make it to lunch.

So, I don't know if you have any thoughts on this, but like, how can we help our kids go to school and, you know, feel like they have enough and feel like they have things they want to eat in order to make it to lunch, in order to have their brains be able to work because they're having what they need for fuel?

Kate: Yeah. This is a really tricky area. You know, one thing that I've had to do with my own kids is kind of provide some backup nutrition in the morning, so we incorporate things like Pediasure or like a little protein shake in the morning. Seeing high school students, I wish more kids would do that. There's a lot of kids who it's pretty early when they start their day, even for some middle schools, and they might not feel hungry. But if you're waiting until you get into the building, there's lots of options available. But not all kids are picking the options that parents think they are.

So, providing something before they step in — if that's feasible for you and your family — there's lots of different circumstances at home. But if that's feasible, that's a great thing to consider, even if it's just a quarter of a protein shake that they get.

And having discussions with them about what they're choosing during the school day judgment-free so that they're having that open communication with you, can help you get insight into what areas of their nutrition might be lacking, or are they getting to lunchtime and their stomach is so hungry and they have, you know, they're eating lunch at 1 p.m.? What can you provide for them in the meantime?

Gretchen: Rachel, I know you had some thoughts on this, right?

Rachel: Yes. So, this is not so much about breakfast and lunch, although those are very important. But it's something that I have struggled with is whether or not I should care about trading snacks. So, I have heard a lot about this where it's like, "Oh, I want to bring this to school because so-and-so likes them." I trade this with them for this other snack that I really want that you don't buy.

And I guess that's just kind of like a thing that happens, right? That we can't really manage. But is this, I know in high school you probably don't see it as much, but what do you think about that? Or is that something you've seen with your own kids who are younger? Should I not care about this?

Kate: It's hard. My kids who are younger do this. And then in high school, you'd be surprised. We have a lot of kids who buy candy and then exchange it. It is part of, like, the social currency.

Rachel: Yes.

Kate: And in my mind, I just try to say to myself, you know, we provide nutrient-rich dinner, vitamins, those sorts of things, and we just have to kind of trust that it's balancing out. You know, it's difficult when you can't control it, what they're eating. But I will say I've seen by the high school level, the kids who have had a lot of pressure put on them to eat certain things tend to rebel in those areas once they get to high school.

And there's other kids who have a good sense of balance, and when it's OK and when it's not. So, having those open conversations involving your kid in food choices, how you're packing their lunches, what selections they're making, are all ways to kind of help circumvent some of that.

Rachel: Yeah.

Rachel: Yeah. And the other thing I wanted to ask about, so again, bringing up sensory challenges, which a lot of, you know, kids may face with food. So, have you seen it being, you know, working in schools, how have you seen kids like, who have sensory challenges when it comes to eating navigate like, the cafeteria? Like, even if they're not going to eat the food that's offered there, if they're bringing their own lunch, some of the smells and sounds of the cafeteria can be really hard for kids.

Kate: They can. Yeah. And so, I think, you know, many schools, including mine, have alternate spaces for kids to eat at lunchtime. And making sure, as a parent that you're advocating for that if your child needs it is really important. So, if your child struggles, like you just mentioned, with those sorts of sensory scenarios in the cafeteria, have a conversation with the counselor or the special ed teacher, you know, "Hey, what other spaces are available during the lunch block?"

And you know, we have like a counseling suite that's available. We have a conference room that's available. We even have, like, the main lobby, which still gives you the social interaction and some of the noise, but you're not heavily in it. So, you still feel connected to the social scene, but you have a little bit of separate space, so those options should be there. And those are all accommodations that can be made for students. So, that might be something to talk about.

Gretchen: That is a really great tip.

OK, so we've covered a lot about getting ready for school. And you notice that none of it's like really academics. We've just talked about all the stuff that you have to do to get organized, to get back in that building. Is there anything important that you think we're missing when it comes to preparing to go back to school, Kate?

Kate: I think the big key is, the name of the game is flexibility. You have to make sure what you're doing is working and checking in with your kid, their teachers. Like, get a big picture view, like, kind of zoom out and see, "Is this working for everybody?" And you as a parent.

Because it matters if you're overstimulated and overstressed, trying to handle all of these different things, it's not going to work for your kid either. So, just kind of rolling with it to a certain extent and understanding that you're not a bad parent if you can't make all of these little things happen. You know, this is how life is for everyone.

Gretchen: Yeah. So true.

Rachel: So, Kate, thank you for all of this. It's been super helpful.

Kate: Thank you for having me. I've loved having this conversation, and I hope some parents get some tips that help them ease into the school year this year.

Rachel: Thanks so much for listening today. If you have any thoughts about the episode, we'd love to hear from you. You can email us at init@understood.org.

Gretchen: And check out the show notes for this episode, where we have more resources and links to anything we mentioned.

Rachel: This show is brought to you by Understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences like ADHD and dyslexia. Learn more at Understood.org.

Gretchen: "In It" is produced and edited by Julie Subrin, with additional production support from Cody Nelson and Ilana Millner. Justin D. Wright mixed the show, and Mike Ericco wrote our theme music. Briana Berry is our production director. Neil Drumming is our editorial director.

Rachel: From Understood.org, our executive directors are Laura Key, Scott Cocchiere, and Seth Melnick. Thanks for listening.

Gretchen: And thanks for always being in it with us.