It’s common for people with ADHD to overshare information.
People may be impulsive and not stop to think about what they’re saying.
Treating ADHD can help people improve self-control and think about consequences.
At some point in their lives, most people accidentally share some information they probably shouldn’t have shared. It might be embarrassing small talk or something private about someone else. But for many people with ADHD, “oversharing” can be a more frequent problem.
Oversharing is saying something personal or inappropriate in the wrong setting or to the wrong person. It’s usually not something people with ADHD do on purpose. Sometimes they may not realize they’re giving too much information or saying the wrong thing. Or they might not be able to stop and check themselves before they say it.
Trouble with oversharing happens for different reasons. People may have trouble with executive function skills like impulse control. Or they may have trouble with social skills and low self-esteem. Kids might overshare to get attention or to look cool.
There are ways to avoid oversharing and manage the symptoms that may cause it.
Dive deeper
Executive function is a group of skills that act as the “management system” of the brain. Trouble with these skills can make it tricky for people to “filter” what they’re saying.
Here are some areas of executive function people with ADHD struggle with when they’re sharing information with others:
Impulse control. Blurting things out without considering the consequences.
Self-regulation. Saying things in the heat of the moment.
Flexible thinking. Trouble seeing things more than one way or understanding how others see things.
Social media can help kids stay in touch with friends. But it can also be risky for kids who tend to overshare. Information reaches a much wider audience on social media, including people who might use it in a negative way.
Here are some tips for parents to help kids minimize oversharing online:
Get access. It’s important to know what kids are posting online. If you allow your child to create an account on a social media site, first set up an account on the same site for yourself. (Kids have to be 13 or older to open an account on most social media sites.) Set a rule that your child has to “friend” you and give you access to posts to set up their account.
Discuss what’s OK to share. Talk about what information is safe to post and what isn’t. Be clear: No talking about family matters, health issues, sexual issues, or other people’s personal business.
Talk about consequences. Kids need to know what’s at stake when they overshare, especially online. For example, they might embarrass themselves or someone else. They might also lose friends or open themselves up to bullying.
Practice empathy. Discuss how you’d feel if someone shared something private about you or laughed at you for saying something inappropriate. Ask how your child would feel.
Oversharing can be hard to stop in the moment. But there are ways to help keep it from happening. A good place to start is to practice conversation skills like not interrupting, listening to what people are saying, and waiting a second or two before speaking.
If there’s time, think about what’s OK to say and what isn’t. That’s easier to do with email conversations and social posts. But thinking ahead can help in face-to-face conversation and texting, too.
Oversharing happens because of ADHD symptoms like impulsivity. Experts agree that ADHD medication is one of the best ways to manage symptoms. You can talk with your health care professional about this treatment option.
